The Power of Self-Talk – From Ballet Rehearsals to Everyday Resilience

By Kyrra Springer

It was dress rehearsal for my senior ballet recital. I stepped onto center stage, preparing for the highlight of my performance: 12 consecutive turns. I focused my gaze on a familiar anchor, a clock at the back of the auditorium. In ballet, spotting helps dancers stay centered, avoid dizziness, and maintain balance. That clock was my grounding point.

The first few turns were solid. “1, good. 2, good. 3, where is the clock? 4, ugh, you’re traveling. 5, this is a disaster. 6, you suck. 7, you can’t do this.”

By turn eight, I was spiraling – both physically and mentally. My body was drifting off center, and my mind had turned against me. The inner dialogue wasn’t helpful, instructional, or kind. These were words I wouldn’t say to a friend, or even to an enemy.

That internal voice is called self-talk, and whether we realize it or not, it plays a powerful role in how we perform, how we cope, and how we move through life.

Why Self-Talk Matters – Self-talk is the stream of thoughts running through our minds all day. It influences how we interpret experiences, respond to challenges, and see ourselves.

In times of pressure or uncertainty, negative self-talk can lower our confidence, disrupt our performance, and leave us stuck in patterns of doubt. If left unchecked, it becomes automatic and makes hard things feel even harder.

The real danger is that negative self-talk can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we tell ourselves we can’t do something, we’re much more likely to be right.

The encouraging part? Self-talk is a skill, and just like any skill, it can be practiced, improved, and mastered.

Turning Self-Talk into a Strength – The first step in changing your self-talk is simply becoming aware of it. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, especially when you’re under stress, feeling vulnerable, or facing high-pressure situations. The words you use and the tone you take matter.

Here are four helpful ways to become more aware of your inner dialogue and begin shaping it into something more supportive:

Use a Physical Reminder – At our retreats and events, we use self-talk bracelets as tools to bring attention to thought patterns. If you picked up a pack of bracelets at our Make Waves booth at the Adirondack Sports Summer Expo in Saratoga this March, put them to work. Start your day with the bracelets on your right wrist. Each time you notice a negative thought, move one to your left wrist. 

This small, simple action increases your awareness. By physically moving the bracelet, you’re interrupting your thought cycle and creating a moment to pause and reflect. You can also use rubber bands, paper clips in your pocket, or any other object that works for you.  Now that you have started to increase your awareness consider using a self-talk journal to identify trends.

Keep a Self-Talk Journal – Writing your thoughts down helps you view them more objectively. Try journaling when you catch yourself using negative self-talk. Record what you said, what was happening around you, how you felt, and what might have triggered it.

As you build this habit, you’ll start noticing patterns. Certain situations, people, or emotions may consistently bring out your inner critic. Recognizing these patterns gives you the power to prepare and respond differently next time.

Use Photos or Videos to Reflect – If you’re an athlete, performer, or public speaker, you might already have recordings of yourself in action. Watch these clips and try to recall what you were saying to yourself in the moment. Looking back helps you reflect on your internal thoughts with more compassion and insight.

Ask Others to Support You – Negative self-talk isn’t always internal. Sometimes we say it out loud: “I’m so stupid,” or “I’ll never get this right.” Invite a trusted friend, family member, or teammate to gently point it out when they hear you doing this. A kind reminder can help you stop and reset your thinking in the moment.

Now What – Once you’ve become aware of your patterns, you can begin to reframe them. This doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect or sugar-coating reality – it means choosing to speak to yourself with the same encouragement and compassion you’d offer someone you care about. Try these alternatives: Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “This is hard, but I’m learning.” Replace “I suck at this,” with “I’m improving every time I try.” Trade “I always mess up,” for “Everyone makes mistakes – this is part of growth.” If you really want to strengthen the skill, pick one negative scenario you’ve journaled or remembered and reimagine it using mental imagery. Visualize yourself in the same situation, but this time, narrate it with positive or instructional self-talk. Practicing in your mind helps train your brain for real-life moments.

A Personal Note on Progress – As for that ballet solo? My dress rehearsal was, by all accounts, a mess. My instructor was so worried, she provided an alternate eight counts of choreography in case I needed an exit strategy. But when performance night came, something had shifted. I took a deep breath, found the clock, and hit all 12 turns – gracefully, confidently, and right in the center of the stage. That moment wasn’t just about dance. It was about resilience, mindset, and learning to use my inner voice as a tool, not a weapon.

Final Thoughts – Self-talk is just one of the many mental toughness tools we teach young women at the Make Waves Retreat at Fern Lake in Au Sable Forks on July 20-25, where our mission is to help girls build confidence and face life’s challenges with courage and clarity. Make Waves host retreats for young women 13 to 18 years old which consist of beach talks, including mental toughness skills to help increase self-confidence, achieve goals, and conflict management. Participants will have an opportunity to practice their mental toughness while learning paddleboard skills, playing games, SUP yoga sessions and hiking. To learn more about the overnight retreat, visit: makewavesretreat.org.

In a world filled with external pressures and unrealistic expectations, it’s crucial that the inner voice girls carry with them is one they can trust – aa voice that uplifts, encourages, and empowers.

You can do the same for yourself. Your inner voice doesn’t have to be your harshest critic. This is a crucial skill for athletes no matter your sport. You should be training this mental toughness skills just as you would any physical skill. With awareness, consistency, and support, it can become your strongest coach. 

Kyrra Springer (kspringer@nextwaveperformance.org) is an entrepreneur, social worker, and youth life coach focused on empowering young women to achieve peak performance in sport and life. A lifelong lover of water, she draws inspiration from its flow and resilience.